Not knowing how to forgive goes hand in hand with unnecessary suffering. Negative emotions, like resentment, work exactly like acid. Acid does more damage to the container that contains it than to what it is poured onto. With negative emotions the same thing happens, the main injured party is the person who has resentment or resentment within him. Teaching children to forgive and not be spiteful will help them feel better about themselves.
Children throughout their childhood, and of course also during adolescence and adulthood, are going to be involved in situations in which they will have to forgive or be forgiven.
For this reason, it is essential that children are skilled at resolving conflicts and do not have difficulties in asking for forgiveness or accepting other people's apologies.
Learning to forgive and ask for forgiveness when necessary makes it easier for children to cope adequately in their social environment and that they can enjoy a state of calm that allows them to be satisfied with themselves.
- Set an example at home. As parents, we need to ask our child for forgiveness when we make mistakes. This will make the child notice us, normalize asking for forgiveness, internalize it and gradually acquire this ability. Parents also make mistakes and asking for forgiveness is an act that we must do without fear of losing authority.
- Make them see that they too have been wrong on many occasions and despite that they have been forgiven. None of us are perfect so we must also accept the imperfections of others.
- Work with them empathy, that is, the ability to put oneself in the place of the other. The child can be invited to reflect by asking the following questions: Do you remember a time when you did not do things well? And how do we react with you? How would you have felt if we had not come to forgive you when you asked us for forgiveness? Do you like to be forgiven when you're wrong?
- Help the child not to have tunnel vision and on the contrary encourage you to assess the situation as a whole, that is, teach the child not to focus only on the bad that that person has done to him and encourage him to also see all the good that that person has brought him. It is necessary for the child to take stock and learn not to end a relationship because of a simple gaffe.
- Congratulate him when the child asks for forgiveness. If we want a behavior to be repeated we have to reinforce it. For this reason, if the child asks for forgiveness, it is good that we reinforce it with a look of complicity, a wink, a caress, a few words (very good!).
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