Sometimes our children tell us that they mess with them at school because they wear glasses, gadgets, they are tall, short or because of any physical or personality trait, or that they are not allowed to play this or that game because they do not know. These comments that adults tend to seem like "children's things" can lead to complexes in our children, with the consequences that this has on their self-esteem and personality. And is that, complexes in children can hide some form of bullying or bullying.
School bullying is repeated harassment, cornering, nicknames, insults, threats, coercion, teasing, ridicule, physical violence ... that take place inside the school, (although obviously there can also be bullying outside of school).
What gives us the fundamental key to say if a child suffers bullying at school are three fundamental points, (diagnostic criteria most commonly accepted by researchers to elucidate if we are facing a case of bullying and school violence, collected in AVE, a tool evaluation of bullying and school violence)
- Its duration in time. That is, it is not something sporadic that happens a few times, but rather it is something repeated, recurrent and lasting over time.
- Deterioration of different areas of the child's life, (social, academic, family, emotional ...)
- There are two or more behaviors of harassment and violence at school, (social exclusion, blocking, social manipulation, aggression, intimidation, threats, harassment, insults ...)
- It is important that adults, Let's avoid the typical response of "ignore them, and they will stop messing with you"Because although sometimes ignoring the person who bothers me is an attitude that works, it is not always the case, and also the child who experiences this situation can understand that adults do not perceive this situation as a problem, and feel helpless.
- Must always pay attention to what the children tell us In this regard, listen to them and provide them with the necessary tools to solve or deal with the problem, and although there will not always be a case of bullying behind it, if there is, we can provide a solution and means as soon as possible.
- Don't downplay what happens to them, and try to provide them with tools and the help and support they need.
- Pay attention to any changes in the behavior of our son, (sleep, feeding, apathy ...)
- Avoid comments such as, "Well, don't hang out with that child", or "ignore him" "don't pay attention to him" "because he's looking for other children to play with," which may make the child think that the problem or the fault lies with he. Not all children can prevent these behaviors from affecting them nor do they have tools to remedy them. It is not the child who receives the insults who has to solve the problem, because the problem is not in him, (the environment, the role of adults, educational tools are key to prevent, solve, solve and intervene in cases of this type, whether they are harassment or not).
- Whenever we consider that our child suffers from these comments from children, or we believe that he may be suffering from bullying, we adults must act, either by going to the school to inform what is happening (if they do not already know), or by going to the appropriate professionals to work and treat the situation, (child psychologist) who can guide and guide us in these issues so delicate for the that parents do not always have enough tools.
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