Overprotecting him, avoiding his frustration or comparing him too often with other children ... What parents have not made any of these mistakes? The children, in the end, pay the consequences. So, if you find yourself in the park with a child who screams, kicks, and answers in a bad way to his parents, do not look for any problem in the child. Look for the mistake your parents made.
It sounds harsh, yes, but we already learned that every act has a consequence. And an education mistake takes its toll in the long run. Psychologists alert us: this is your son according to the education error you made.
We all make mistakes. But we are not aware of the harm they can do to our children. Did you ever wonder why you are so suspicious? Or why do you feel so jealous even though things are going well for you? Maybe you had parents who inadvertently made one of these mistakes repeatedly. We repeat: repeatedly. And evidently They are not the only causes that children are like this. In most cases there are several factors at the same time:
1. Distrustful. A distrustful child may be like that because he learned to be afraid of others. And how did this fear and mistrust come to be? Because his parents yelled at him too much, were irritable with him, and used threats and punishment. Fear in education is useful in the short term, but in the long run it creates nothing but problems.
2. With a tendency to tantrums. If your child is the typical screaming and kicking child and is unable to handle his anger and anger, it is because he is trying to get your attention by all means. And it can be for two reasons: either he needs you to spend more time with him or that the time you are with him pay more attention to him, or else, he does not know how to capture your attention in another way. In this case, you must teach him to channel his anger and ask you to be with him in another way.
3. Shy and indecisive. Many people think that shy children are born that way. Maybe it has something to do with the child's personality. However, just as a shy child can change and learn to be more sociable, a child can also 'learn' to be shy and above all, indecisive. How? Overprotection hurts you a lot. If you do everything for him, even the things you know he can do for himself, you are undermining his self-esteem. It is as if you were saying: 'hey, don't do anything, I already do it, you don't know how to do it.
4. Very jealous. Many adults confess that they cannot help being jealous. Jealousy is sometimes the result of an education error in childhood. Which one? There are parents who spend their days comparing their children, with each other or with other children. All this does is make the child envious of those others that their parents consider better.
5. Unsure. If when you have to choose something you do not let him comment. If you never let him choose between one color or another, between one flavor or another ... when he grows up, your child will not know how to do it, and he will be an insecure child, without initiative. You will always be waiting for someone else to make a decision to simply abide by it.
6. Aggressive. Children who constantly hit others can have various problems. But in most cases, it is a learned behavior. If your hand is raised at home, they will learn that it is a normal option they can use.
7. Does not know how to defend or resolve conflicts. When you scold a child in public, they feel humiliated and ashamed. You also nullify their ability to defend themselves or resolve a conflict in another way.
8. You don't respect anyone. Respect is learned ... if you respect a person, you will earn their respect. It is a feedback loop. If you never ask what he feels when he has a problem and you scold him out of hand, without having asked him what is happening, the child feels that his own parents do not respect him or care what they feel. They will do the same with others.
9. Liar. A child learns to lie as an 'escape route' from an impending scolding. If a parent scolds too much, in the end, the child will learn to lie to avoid it. It is survival outright.
10. It takes everything from others. When a child takes toys away from other children, psychologists say, it is because you did not let him choose his toys. Take the test, and let him choose what he wants to play with. She will focus on her own toys before looking for other children's toys.
These guidelines can serve as a guide, but remember that each child is a world and that the origin of a certain behavior can be much more complex.
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